Reikai's Poetry Chronicle
by borderline-mary
Summary: A reposting of all my YYH poetry, in chronological order, oldest to newest, and with original summaries preserved; this is also where I'll be posting all new YYH poetry. Occasional shonen ai - Hiei/Kurama, Yuusuke/Kurama - and minor swearing.
1. Dreamer

_A/N: A rather dark Hiei poem. Companion piece to 'Soon'._

* * *

Dreamer

Found in eternity, lost once again;  
Waking in nothingness, dreaming in sin.  
Steel eyes tell the tale of the years they have borne—  
Ever in sorrow, forbidden to mourn.

Faith is a falsehood, forged only of ice,  
A mockery to those who have lived the hard price.  
You no longer fear that you will not survive:  
The toil of your heart is to know you're alive.

Time flows about you in eddies and waves.  
Your tongue, turned to dust, cannot speak what it craves.  
You have naught but tendrils of memory to find  
The last lingering wisp of the choice left behind.

The plea of the haunted encased full in lead;  
The cold brush of ageless eternity sped;  
The price that you pay is to never be whole,  
To exist with the knowledge  
You once had a soul.


	2. Behind Eyes

_A/N: A set of three short, descriptive and somewhat angsty poems about Yuusuke, Kurama and Hiei, respectively. Some credit goes to Rogue Phoenix for inspiration._

* * *

Behind Eyes

I.

Sullen brown are this boy's eyes  
And hard with cool disdain―  
A silent plea for loving lies,  
Denied him yet again.

Never yielding, never weak,  
They keep his thoughts his own.  
Ever his own soul must seek  
The boy who fights alone.

II.

A quiet, shattered verdant gaze  
Belongs to one apart;  
Knowledge haunts his eyes like haze  
And loneliness his heart.

A soft refrain, a tiny smile,  
A pain for lies untold;  
A search for what makes life worthwhile―  
The boy whose eyes are old.

III.

Eyes of crimson, sharp as glass,  
That show no hint of pain,  
Watch the friendless eons pass  
And loss that outweighs gain.

A hooded glance that carves the soul,  
A smile that holds no joy;  
An iron will, a steel control―  
The one who's not a boy.


	3. Doppelganger

_A/N: Detachment, and loss of self, aren't always bad. Hiei-centric, sonnet._

* * *

Doppelganger

I am the doppelganger dressed in black,  
Who masquerades behind a frozen glance;  
My path is long, and never shall turn back,  
For death's pale face is my own countenance.  
Beyond all hope, and far beyond all care,  
I forge my wall of perfect-made pretense―  
For after all, I'm never really there,  
So what care I for things that must make sense?  
Whatever novel creature once was I,  
The memory of is lost to fire's kiss,  
And whether that same creature once could cry  
I cannot say, for naught exists but this:  
Defined forever by the soul I lack,  
I am the doppelganger dressed in black.


	4. Of All Whys

_A/N: A sad, shonen ai poem from Hiei's POV HieixKurama. Dedicated to Sexy Neko Mata._

* * *

Of All Whys

Why did you have to be friendly?  
Why did you have to be fair?  
Why did you shadow my sorrows,  
Consoling when no one was there?  
Why did you have to be patient?  
Why did you have to be dear?  
Why did you promise your friendship,  
And why, of all whys, aren't you here?

Why did you have to believe me  
When I said that I didn't care?  
Why did you have to be trusting,  
And why did you my burdens bear?  
Couldn't you see through my falsehoods?  
Didn't my eyes let you know?  
Why did you let me refuse you,  
And why, of all whys, did you go?

Why do I still keep pretending?  
Why can't I admit that I'm wrong?  
Why must your presence still linger,  
And why can I still hear your song?  
Why do my eyes still behold you  
When I see a rose sweet and shy?  
Why did I let myself love you,  
And why, of all whys, did you die?


	5. Remember When

_A/N: This is sort of a quasi poem, shonen ai KuramaxHiei from Kurama's POV, and it's also quite different from most love poetry. Very metaphorical, and doesn't make much sense._

* * *

Remember When

The sight of you is like the finest whisper of silk on my bare skin, and I am entrapped, a plain-winged moth in ebony flame. I am surrounded by gardens of blood and onyx, never wishing to leave. When did you become my ancient sky?

Shot through with verdant light is your scent, like sweet, hot sunshine, an emerald musk that slakes my heart's thirst as the purest of waters. When was it that you breathed life into me with that heady vapor? I cannot recall.

The sound of your voice is like the sharpest of pains in my breast, an icy dart that numbs my heart and renders me as a figure of stone, my own breath bated and weak. How long ago did you glide into my night, stealing all my will to go away from you?

The taste of your skin is a mystery, a wonder I long to know and an honor far beyond what I can claim as my due. I live only for the memory of a time that has not yet come to pass. When did I begin to yearn for that future that shall go before?

The touch of your hand upon mine is like the soft patter of rain on the roses, filling me with its rush, and it sighs through my being like the breath of a soul. When did that soft, melting ache sweep me to places dark and beautiful?

When was it that I first loved you?


	6. Once I Knew

_A/N: An expression of Hiei's loneliness and self contempt. Constructed oddly._

* * *

Once I Knew

Once I saw the beauty in the stars  
Sliding through their orbits far away.  
But the whorls of time leave only scars,  
Pleasure stripped of form that would not stay,  
Hope departing on the wind like sand―  
Never could another understand.

Once I knew the peace of solitude,  
Never fearing friends nor love to blight.  
Now I watch, but I cannot intrude―  
Touching briefly, fading into night.  
Watching self decay, I can but wait,  
Seeing what I could have been too late.

All I lost will not return again  
So I wrap the tatters 'round my heart;  
Nothing in the my world can dull the pain.  
Begging from myself to be apart,  
Walking down a road that has no end,  
I have no one I can call my friend.

Rallying the last of all my will,  
Still I keep my head above the waves;  
Dregs of hope that time has yet to kill  
Hold at bay the darkness my soul craves.  
Even now denied the right to die,  
Never knowing what it means to cry.


	7. The Wise Rose

_A/N: A strange, sing-song poem for Hiei and Kurama. Actually written before I was introduced to the fandom, but stuck out as so perfect for their characters that I had to post it. (Returned from deletion!)_

* * *

The Wise Rose

Black on black, unseen, unknown,  
Growing in a garden lone,  
Seeking out a crypt of bone  
And silent in its seeming.

A simple rose it saw below,  
A beauty it had yet to know,  
Reminding of a land of snow  
With blood upon it gleaming.

And seized by jealous apathy,  
The blackness lingered by the tree  
To watch the rose so silently―  
It dreamed forlorn and bitter.

The rose, it told of many things;  
The symbol of what loving brings,  
A flower to be given wings  
Or borne upon a litter.

The blackness, held in wonder's thrall,  
Implored the rose to tell it all,  
But no more answered nothing's call  
The rose, in wisdom blooming.

In vain the darkness pled and cried  
Only to find the rose had died―  
Nor may a rose forever bide,  
But fade into the glooming.

And so the darkness goes its way,  
Bereft of reason there to stay,  
And nowhere to its burdens lay,  
Nor ever solace finding.

The black-on-black forever flows,  
A soul that only torment knows.  
It seeks the wisdom of the rose  
To loose it from its binding.


	8. Reflections

_A/N: This is another set of descriptive poems. Hiei, Kurama, Yuusuke and Koenma each get their own stanza, and the last one is a collective verse about all four of them._

* * *

Reflections

Steel and ink and blood and fire;  
Living life in death and dire;  
Ice for womb and pain for sire―  
Do you know his name?

Scarlet petals, twined with green;  
Walking garden paths unseen;  
Gold and silver in between―  
Would you play his game?

Raven-haired and agate-eyed;  
Life on loan and death defied;  
Strength concealed and youth belied―  
Dare you think to tame?

Eyes of bronze and hidden smile;  
Facing life and death's denial;  
Never faltering all the while―  
Could you say the same?

Tossed about at Fate's caprice;  
Never hoping for release;  
Fighting for the right to peace―  
Which one would you blame?


	9. When I'm Gone

_A/N: A poem about unrequited love and the pain of hiding it. HieixKurama._

* * *

When I'm Gone

What is there now where there once was a soul?  
What pittance is left when the world takes its toll?  
What chance have I to emerge from this whole?  
Who will be here when I'm gone?

What can you do when you feel for a friend?  
What then, when you know that you'll lose in the end?  
How do you live when you have to pretend?  
Is this the lot that I've drawn?

Why is this secret so painful to bear?  
What keeps me from saying what I'd never dare?  
What do you do with a love you can't share?  
Who can restore what I've lost?

Why won't they notice what I try to hide?  
Where are all the tears that I still haven't cried?  
How many times have my distant eyes lied?  
I forge my shell at what cost?

Is this a dream from which I cannot wake?  
How long do I have now before I must break?  
Do I dare gamble with what is at stake?  
Who could love agony's spawn?

Why does the darkness conceal what I seek?  
Does there truly wait a reward for the meek?  
Who will be strong now, when I am so weak?  
Who will be here when I'm gone?


	10. Stubbornness

_A/N: This is rather different from my other Hiei poems. It's just him being stubborn, as the title indicates, by refusing Kurama's support in typical Hiei fashion._

* * *

Stubbornness

You dress like a schoolboy and lie like a youko  
You smell like a weakling and act like a fool  
You harbor affections both pointless and risky  
And foster attachments you can't overrule

You seem to love helping out people with problems  
Inari knows why, but you focus on me  
You moron―go spend your time coddling your flowers  
The only thing I need is my privacy

You're always so patient and shelter my feelings  
How else can I get it through your brainless head?  
Emotions are weak, and they make you pathetic  
You should be protecting your own self instead

You're obviously just a stupid kitsune  
Who doesn't have anything better to do  
You're wasting your time and you don't seem to get it  
I've gotten through living for years without you

So next time you settle your hand on my shoulder  
Don't be so surprised when I push it away  
We're partners, not friends, and I can't make it clearer  
Just teammates―and teammates is what we will stay


	11. Your Eyes

_A/N: I know, the title is trite. This is a sad love poem. I left the pairing pretty much open, so just imagine it from the perspective of whomever you think Kurama should be with. Also a rhyme scheme self challenge that hopefully turned out well._

* * *

Your Eyes

When winter cries with windy skies  
And autumn's last remainder dies  
It underlies my softest sighs  
The memory of your eyes

That clear, serene, inviting green  
So soft and rich, like velveteen  
A gemstone sheen, white skin between  
These eyes that I have seen

Yet empty air will greet me there  
And grief will catch me unaware  
A haze of care, like vanished prayer  
That distant, haunting stare

I am alone; I've always known  
That love, like life, is just a loan  
This pain I've sown is all my own  
For eyes of glass and stone

When summer flies, with sun's demise  
My every heartbeat testifies  
My soul denies, but in me lies  
The memory of your eyes


	12. Seeking

_A/N: About Kurama when he's a little nine year old boy named Shuuichi, sitting alone and thinking by the sea, torn between two worlds and two lives._

* * *

Seeking

The sky is dark blue satin, threads of silver twined between,  
But never earthly cloth could hold the beauty that is seen  
By one small boy, with hair of blood, who sits upon the shore  
Remembering a different sky―a different life before.

The rush of wind, the sigh of death; they mingle in his dreams,  
'Till nothing that he understands exists at all, it seems.  
What color are his eyes? Could they be crystal green―or gold ?  
And are they full of innocence, or are they wise and cold?

The past is kept a secret, but he wonders, is it real?  
Is he a guileless child, or was he born to kill and steal?  
What is this thing called love that makes his heart burn in his chest,  
And must he learn its secret for his soul to truly rest?

His mind may know the answers, yet his heart remains unsure;  
To laugh, or rail against this mortal life he must endure?  
To love his human mother or discard her as a pawn?  
To tell her who he is, or leave her weeping when he's gone?

His path is fraught with turnings, but he still cannot decide,  
And all the painful questions make it harder still to hide.  
He yearns to ask the sky for aid, the gods for their reprieve―  
But these are not his stars, and in him gods do not believe.

He finds no answers in the void, though still it calms his heart;  
He feels a peace in setting free his cares, to drift apart.  
An agèd soul yet lives in him, and seeks to be set free―  
But now he's just a boy of nine, alone here by the sea.


	13. Sunset

_A/N: Kurama muses on Hiei's eyes. Three haiku._

* * *

Sunset

So calm and distant,  
Like an infinite sunset,  
Are these eyes of yours;

Ageless and haunted,  
These eyes never held true light  
But are dim and cold.

Unlike the sunset,  
Though possessing of its hues,  
Your eyes… are just eyes.


	14. Just You

_A/N: An angsty shonen ai poem, KuramaxHiei, from Kurama's POV. Love can't change a person, nor can it bind them against their will._

* * *

Just You

When were you the one to say  
That you could take my hurt away,  
And love and hold me every day?  
That couldn't have been you.

Would you collect the cotton blooms,  
Still strewn about as summer looms?  
I wish you would, but doubt consumes―  
That never would be you.

When blackberries were ripe and full  
And heat gave way to autumn's lull,  
Why were your eyes still bored and dull?  
I guess it was just you.

Why would you drive us two apart,  
A needle through my fragile heart?  
Was this an end before its start?  
Why must that one be you?

The lies of lips were sweet and light,  
Still reminiscent of the night.  
I know I should have seen the slight,  
But I was full of you.

The memory still brightly gleams,  
A twisted tale of what it seems,  
Illusion fanned by bitter dreams  
That lived to honor you.

Your voice is cruel and licks like flame,  
And when you've gone, just as you came,  
You won't even recall my name;  
Perhaps it was just you.

And yet this heart of mine betrays―  
My errant thought still toward you strays,  
Still shadowing my brightest days;  
A part of me loves you.


	15. Waiting

_A/N: A Yuusuke poem. Deals with living in constant danger, and numbing oneself to the pain of it all._

* * *

Waiting

Pushing back the darkness and drinking from the well;  
I'm locked inside my slumber and laughing in my hell.  
Hiding from the madness and striving to become―  
Making love to vengeance―and waiting to be numb.

Grasping at a purpose, searching for a prayer;  
Hearing vacant echoes, the shadows of despair.  
Hoping to endure it and giving it my all,  
Reaching for forgiveness―and waiting for the fall.

Seeing death around me, living it each day;  
Weathering the hardships through hope to fall away,  
Still I keep on breathing, seeking to transcend;  
Endlessly decaying―and waiting for the end.


	16. Resolve

_A/N: Companion piece to 'Stubbornness'; this is Kurama's reply of sorts. It came out more dryly sarcastic that I meant it to. Can be shonen ai if you like._

* * *

Resolve

Perhaps, as you say, we are only companions  
Although we have been much like friends as of late  
Perhaps all you need is your solitude's comfort  
And not to be smothered by feelings you hate

But, needed or not, you deserve more than quiet  
And please don't debate me―you don't have a say  
Although you maintain that I don't need to bother  
You have my respect, and that won't go away

You ward off kind gestures with icy demeanor  
And cow all objection with fire in your eye  
But don't think that I am so easily thwarted  
Or that, at your word, I will just let it lie

I offer my hand when I feel I can help you  
And never to shame you or rouse your disgust  
This isn't a game and you know I'm not playing  
I truly do care, and you'll have to adjust

I'll give you your space, but I won't let you suffer  
Forgive me my heart if it's not made of stone  
I hope you'll be patient with my weak emotions  
And try to remember that you're not alone


	17. Enigma

_A/N: A reflective poem from Kurama's POV as he contemplates Hiei. Fourteen consecutive haiku._

* * *

Enigma

So many puzzles―  
Just when I think I know you,  
You show me much more.

I never realized  
You had such depths within you;  
It mystifies me;

I've known you so long,  
But no one really knows you.  
You let no one in.

No one knows your thoughts,  
And perhaps you least of all…  
I wonder sometimes.

If only I knew,  
Then perhaps I could help you  
Unravel yourself;

I know that you've tried,  
But you're so busy hiding―  
You've lost your center.

You've built walls of ice  
And thickets of fiery thorns:  
A pose―a defense.

It's a thin façade.  
You pretend you need no one―  
You're almost convinced.

I know that you're wrong,  
But that's all that I'm sure of;  
I wish I knew more.

When I smile at you,  
It's my way of asking you  
To reveal yourself.

Just once, talk to me.  
Maybe I'm just curious.  
Maybe it will help.

You still resist me,  
But I've always been patient.  
I can always wait.

Every time I smile  
I gain a little more ground.  
How much ground is left?

How long can you hide?  
Somehow I'm certain you know  
Forever's too long.


	18. Silence

_A/N: Sonnet. Kurama contemplates the Mirror of Darkness._

* * *

Silence

As cold and dim as February's sun,  
An icy-grey reflection of the sky―  
A mirror in my hands for every lie.  
The silver light absolves them one by one,  
And for its price a mere oblivion;  
No longer caring how to wonder why,  
I let my silence serve to justify  
The things that my decision leaves undone.  
A hollow calm is born where reason lives  
To hold me in a torpor of regret,  
As if in these last days I've no control;  
How foolish to believe that fate forgives,  
Or that I may be given to forget  
The sin this mirror shows upon my soul.


	19. United

_A/N: Another poem in which individual stanzas are given to each person, with the last as a collective. Fairly dark, somewhat odd. Includes Yuusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei, Kurama, Koenma, Botan, and Yukina._

* * *

United

Smile a mocking smile and hide behind your painted eyes  
Watch them dance in every twist and turning of your lies  
Hate what's real and hate what's false, but keep them safe from scorn  
Cradle in your sharpened claws the mask that can't be worn

Whisper bloody memories as wards against the hurt  
Make some time to breathe again and hope it may subvert  
Take a life to help remind you that you're still alone  
Take the life of someone else, lest you might take your own

Give them everything you have and some things that you don't  
Promise them you'll always smile while knowing that you won't  
Be the end of everything so they can find their peace  
Swallow down a bitter thought and wait for time to cease

Be the butt of every joke and seem like nothing's wrong  
Keep inside the gnawing fear that you might not belong  
Stand so strong that you forget how lonely strong can feel  
Hope within your private thoughts that none of this is real

Make believe you've never felt the urge to cause them harm  
Keep your eyes as guileless as a child's to help disarm  
Smile and laugh and wait for them to find out who you are  
Realize no one old as you can live without a scar

Wave your hand and see the eyes of those you send to war  
Keep despair a secret as you always have before  
Know you've doomed yourself again in ways you can't deny  
Build a shelter from your heart so you can watch them die

Never tell the simple truth that you aren't one of them  
Do your best to see them through and try not to condemn  
Watch them live and stay removed, forever young and old  
Don't forget your purpose―you've a duty to uphold

Stand united for one last defense against the end  
Try to help each other find a reason to defend  
Hold so tight you can't breathe and prepare to lose it all  
Bound by love and hate, at last, together you can fall


	20. Reckless

_A/N: A decidedly odd sonnet, in which Yuusuke shares his views on Kurama's usual battle strategy. Rated for minor language._

* * *

Reckless

You gotta understand, he's just like this.  
He's always been a bastard of a fox―  
He just pretends he's calm to make you miss  
The jackass things he does, 'til Hiei talks,  
And then you figure out he's full of shit.  
But, well, it's hard to blame the guy; I mean,  
He's never really been one to admit  
To being anything besides serene.  
I guess for all those years he was so strong  
That being human has to really suck;  
I do respect that, but don't get me wrong―  
I really wish he wouldn't push his luck.  
So it's my job to make sure he won't die  
Until he has a better reason why.


	21. The Garden

_A/N: Remembering his life in the wilds of Makai, Kurama can't help but miss the plants._

* * *

The Garden

Dove-gray cloud in sullen flock above an empty street  
Waiting for the downpour to commence  
Soon, aloud, the trees may talk in voices airy, sweet  
Closing canopy in meshed defense  
Islands form between the walls of concrete, brick, and stone  
Linking like the veins beneath their skin  
Living, warm, the garden sprawls, a sentinal alone  
Humming 'til the sun returns again

I have seen the untamed lands where forests ruled the sky  
Spanning countless miles of empty blue  
Ancient green with vining hands and branches reaching high  
Shimmering conclaves of leaves and dew  
I have seen where wild things grow and swallow all they meet  
Under orange sun and bloody moon  
Violet sheen on midnight snow and shadows fell and fleet  
Whispers, through the leaves, of danger's boon

Quiet city, shades of pale, so silent―all but dead  
Palling cold before my memory  
Sleep unfit for dreams' travail, a eulogy misread  
Sinking under feral parts of me  
Even here I may yet find those voices in the rain  
Trees too young to tell of things that last  
Ghosts appear and leave behind a shallow new refrain  
Short-lived, just-born visions of the past

Never wild, yet never tamed, the weeds and vines that climb  
Brought up at the mercy of the storm  
Adult, child, a life twice-named; a soul caught out of time  
Seedling power waiting to transform  
Long held in this poverished sphere of sparse, malnourished life  
Pining for my years in death's domain  
Deep within this calm veneer a proud and lonely strife  
Taking solace in the empty rain

Learning day by day, at last, to face captivity  
Now I walk the garden paths unseen  
Held away by fate's die cast from lands so fey and free  
Living on the twilight in between  
Knowing peace in every leaf and every sickly bloom  
Finding beauty in their pulse, and yet  
Heart's release made dim and brief by dreams of nature's womb  
Cursed by never wanting to forget

So I plant the only seeds that thrive in this bare soil  
Flowers gold and ruby, green and white  
So enchanting in their needs, so simple in their toil  
Never more than fireflies in the night  
Walking on a concrete road as far as walls allow  
Through the tranquil city-scape I roam  
What was gone my hands have sowed―and I can smile, for now  
This world is my garden, and my home


	22. As You Are Now

_A/N: What Kurama finds most enthralling about Hiei. HK, sonnet._

* * *

As You Are Now

Sharp, cold, and bright, your eyes steal time from me;  
Like living garnet drops of hard mistrust,  
In pain or grief they darken into rust,  
While all else is indifferent cruelty―  
A sight so sadly beautiful to see,  
I let myself fall silent―as I must,  
For else all my defense crumbles to dust:  
Your heartsick gaze the death of sophistry.  
Where your eyes fall lie shadows, lost in light,  
And nothing can remain as it once was―  
Their purity at once effect and cause―  
Denying darkness and defying night.  
Sharp, cold, and bright, your eyes steal time from me;  
As you are now, I'd have you ever be.


	23. Delay

_A/N: Kurama waits for the right moment. Sonnet, KuramaxYuusuke._

* * *

Delay

To find you in my thoughts, though now estranged,  
Perhaps could have destroyed my last defense;  
But eyes and scent remain in eloquence,  
Still spinning through my dreams as though deranged―  
And something of our partnership has changed,  
Or may, perhaps, be only hope's pretense  
To keep my heart bound tightly in suspense―  
An unkind jest that unkind fate arranged.  
A smile, a turn of head, a breath of air;  
An orchid blossom resting in your hand;  
Invisible, its petals hypnotize,  
And beckon me to you all unaware―  
Yet I forbear; perforce I understand  
The time for chance is not yet in your eyes.


	24. Dreaming Peace

_A/N: Sonnet. Kurama wishes things were different. Shonen ai, pairing unspecified._

* * *

Dreaming Peace

Perhaps there's nowhere left to stand but here,  
On dusty ground that welcomes us to die  
With never time nor care to ponder why―  
Just swallowing the bitter taste of fear,  
And waiting for the end to become clear;  
But if we took a moment out to try,  
Perhaps we'd find another, brighter sky,  
Above a place where death is not so near.  
I know that you can never come away,  
That honor will demand your life in trade;  
That mine are not the words to stop or sway;  
Yet still I wish for roses budding new,  
All honor left behind, all trust betrayed,  
And walks along those garden paths with you.


	25. Shall We Together

_A/N: Sonnet. Possessiveness, obsession, and death, the first two wishing for the third. KH._

* * *

Shall We Together

Your fire within my veins cannot be quelled,  
Nor starved to dimness by the wildest storm;  
Your hauteur keeps me silent and enspelled,  
So much a part of you as face and form.  
I would be yours, if you would never flee—  
If you would let me burn with your last spark,  
And live inside my garden, never free,  
But never left in solitude nor dark.  
I'll break your will, and bend you to my own.  
I'll grip you as we both reduce to ash.  
I'll share in all the pain you've ever known,  
To speed the conflagration and the crash.  
If I must pass from life into your flame,  
It's only fitting you should do the same.


End file.
